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Name ONLINE: When No Doesn't Mean No: Negotiation and Communication for Consensual Nonconsent
Producer Wicked Grounds
Time Sunday 2nd of April 2023, 2:00 pm–4:00 pm (PDT)
Platform Zoom
Category Education
This event is 18+ only.

ONLINE: When No Doesn't Mean No: Negotiation and Communication for Consensual Nonconsent

with vahavta

How do you keep yourself safe when you want to feel you’re in real danger?


How do you keep yourself safe when you want to feel you’re in real danger? How do you push someone past their breaking point and still leave room to repair the damage? Is there a way to forego hard limits and safewords and stay ethical in play? When you start to play on the edges of consent, everything becomes a little bit trickier.

In this class, vahavta draws on her experiences and stories from seven years in a 24/7 consensual non-consent (“CNC”) relationship, sharing tips and strategies for developing and staying within a personal risk profile, playing with triggers, communicating in-scene without “breaking character,” and dealing with cognitive dissonance ("did I really want that?") in drop. We will explore the mental and physical considerations and contingency plans needed to enter a CNC environment, based on the desires and boundaries expressed by both bottoms and tops.


vahavta began her kink journey eight years ago and has been grateful to get to teach, play, and learn in communities in North Carolina, Chicago, St. Louis, and Israel along the way. Today, she serves her husband in a 24/7 CNC-based Total Power Exchange with heavy elements of emotional play and service and is often found sporting large bruises, writing, or enjoying a good beer. vahavta is disabled, Jewish, and femme, and believes in approaching kink with a firm understanding of intersectional context. As an educator, she aims to give honest and risk-aware information that applies to the realities of human behavior, focusing largely on the "how" and asking people to consider their personal capabilities, interests, and readiness. Passionate about community collaboration, vahavta is proud to run the Risk Evaluation Database (RED) and contribute regularly to kink blogs and her own Fetlife writing index. In all aspects of her life, she strives to be a work in progress.


$15 - $35 in advance. Please pay at the level you can comfortably afford.

We offer a sliding scale, so that cost is not a barrier to attendance.

The regular ticket is $25. This is what most people should pay.

The $15 ticket is offered for those for whom the $25 ticket would be a barrier to participation. If $25 is too much, we take your word for it! Just pay $15.

Have a great salary? Feeling generous? Paying at the $35 level allows us to make the discounted ticketing available to others who need it.

So - that's it! Choose the level you can comfortably afford.

Wicked Grounds VIP members get discounted/free tickets! Find out more at!


This will be a live, online class offered through Zoom. To participate, you will need to download the free, basic version of the Zoom app before the class! This class will not be recorded and is not available for later viewing.

Zoom now provides closed captioning which will be available for this event.

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This event is hosted/produced by:
Wicked Grounds
San Francisco, CA
Kink Community, Everywhere! An educational resource for in-person and online classes! (18+)
This event is featuring:
s-type writer and educator of all things edgeplay and risk awareness
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