Previous event
Name ONLINE: Finding Your (Kink) Voice
Producer Wicked Grounds
Time Sunday 5th of February 2023, 2:00 pm–4:00 pm (PST)
Platform Zoom
Category Education
This event is 18+ only.

ONLINE: Finding Your (Kink) Voice

with John Pendal

Come and examine the many reasons why anyone may stay silent during a kink scene and different strategies to help people communicate.


A lot of discussion about consent relies on being able to speak up. For example:

• Standing up for yourself in negotiations
• Being able to clearly state your needs, wants, desires and limits
• Agreeing to AND BEING ABLE TO USE a safe word during the scene

But there are occasions when our voices may leave us, e.g. feeling that everyone has invested too much in the scene and we don't want to let others down, flooded with endorphins or adrenaline, reliving past trauma, falling in love with your play partner, autistic shutdown - and that’s what this workshop covers. We examine the many reasons why anyone may stay silent during a kink scene - whether they are a novice or experienced player. What to do if someone is triggered, and different strategies to help people communicate - even if they've had a lifetime of 'people pleasing' or don't know who they are.


Experienced BDSM educator John Pendal joins us all the way from England, UK. In 2003 John became the 25th person to win the annual International Mr Leather contest in Chicago. Since then he has travelled around the world leading workshops, giving speeches, hosting events and performing kinky stand-up comedy.

Amongst others, John has taught BDSM workshops at Beyond Leather in Fort
Lauderdale; Darklands in Antwerp; Down an Dirty in Melbourne, Australia;
HunCon in Budapest; Kinkferansen in Oslo; Kinkfest in London; Leather Camp in Wichita; Lupercalia in Canada; Minnesota Leather Pride; Mr Leatherman Toronto; Palm Springs Leather Pride; Rome BDSM Conference; SINSations in
Leather; SM Bergen, Norway; Spring in the South in Atlanta; Tribal Fire in
Oklahoma; and for twelve consecutive years at Thunder in the Mountains in

He spent lockdown completing a diploma in life coaching and two qualifications in First Aid for Mental Health. He now works online with English-speaking clients anywhere in the world, both directly and as an Associate Coach with “Thriving Autistic”.

John’s leather website is and his coaching website


$15 - $35 in advance. Please pay at the level you can comfortably afford.

We offer a sliding scale, so that cost is not a barrier to attendance.

The regular ticket is $25. This is what most people should pay.

The $15 ticket is offered for those for whom the $25 ticket would be a barrier to participation. If $25 is too much, we take your word for it! Just pay $15.

Have a great salary? Feeling generous? Paying at the $35 level allows us to make the discounted ticketing available to others who need it.

So - that's it! Choose the level you can comfortably afford.

If cost is a barrier at any point on the sliding scale, please use the Volunteer List at the bottom of the listing to request a scholarship seat.

Wicked Grounds VIP members get discounted/free tickets! Find out more at!


This will be a live, online class offered through Zoom. To participate, you will need to download the free, basic version of the Zoom app before the class! This class will not be recorded and is not available for later viewing.

Zoom now provides closed captioning which will be available for this event.

Volunteer List
Sign up here to be added to the volunteer list for the event. Your request will be forwarded to the event producer. If needed, you will be contacted.
This event is hosted/produced by:
Wicked Grounds
293 8th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103
Coffee. Kink. Community. San Francisco's home of the kinky, queer revolution.
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