Previous event
Name Listening with Empathy
Producer Black Thorn
Time Saturday 22nd of January 2022, 12:00 pm–2:00 pm (PST)
Platform Zoom

Listening with Empathy

a Zoom class with Retro Bella

Learn how to listen with empathy and build trust for successful scenes!


One of the most common traits among failed scenes, negotiations, and contract discussions is misunderstanding the intent behind a verbal statement. Oftentimes the intent is buried behind, “under talk’ and lack of trust. This can be particularly challenging when communication is already at a standstill. Join Retro Bella as she explores how to regain trust and relearn how to listen with empathy.

Some topics covered in the class are the following:

  • What is “Under talk” and how we can recognize it in our speech
  • Reading body language or the lack of body language
  • Learning how to become a more empathic person
  • Rebuilding trust after a communication break down
  • How to create a safe place for private talks

Bring your questions and curiosity to this insightful class on how to be a better listener and a better play partner.

About Retro Bella

As a 1st generation Mexican-American with social advocacy running through her veins, Retro Bella has become a force to be reckoned with. Within her bloodline, she's had: family members who have marched with and have been arrested with Cesar Chavez, and who have worked closely with Delores Huerta. If she has learned anything within this life, it is that she most definitely was not put on this earth to hide in the shadows.

But who is Retro Bella? Simply put: She is the cactus flower that grew out of the concrete.

But who is she in the kink world? Retro Bella is a Latina high Femme Leather Woman based out of Bakersfield, California. She is a Dominant energy player with a passion for M/s, heavy impact, high protocol, and mind fuckery.

Retro Bella’s kink history began with a curious search online after watching Nine Inch Nails music videos on MTV. Fast forward to 2009 and she finally gets brave and attends a kink event. To say that she’s hooked is an understatement. Suddenly a lot of things in her life start to make sense and that is such an empowering feeling.

The following year she became an active member of the Bakersfield BDSM community and in 2017, Retro Bella became not only the President of the valley’s 1st girls of Leather chapter, San Joaquin girls of Leather, but she also created the extremely successful workshop series, “Women Educators in the Valley.” In 2020, she had the honor of serving as the Assistant Director of the M.A.s.T Bakersfield, and Co-head of the Leather house: House Of Dark Shadows. She has taught for multiple groups on the West Coast, Rocky Mountain region, Internationally, and has had the pleasure of sitting on numerous BIPOC speaking panels.

This event is hosted/produced by:
Black Thorn
Oakland, California
Classes and Play Events both virtual and in-person with Covid safety protocols in place.
This event is featuring:
Retro Bella
Bakersfield, CA
Latina high Femme Leather Woman and Educator in the Valley.
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